Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want
is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
~Oprah Winfrey~
More to come...
***Love songs
***Disclaimer
Disclaimer: All advices given here are based on the guru's experiences and interpretation of the case. The guru will not be held responsible for any consequences.
I met a gal (KY) during my internship and since we worked in different departments, we seldom talked to each other or get to know each other better. I only manged to talk to her on two occasions at the bus interchange. Then sch starts and we return to our respective lives. One day i found out that someone added me on msn ans as always, i just added the contact. It was actually KY and I was quite surprised cos at that time I din really know her that well. I just quite curious and so asked our common friend about this and he told me not to imagine things cos he told me KY is that sort of gal. Anyway, since then ky and I would chat on msn about sch work, internship matters etc. 50% of the time she would say hi to me first on msn. Slowly we talked about our views on BGR and this lasted for about 8 weeks till now. I guess we are flirting with each other. When she returns from afk, she would tell me that she is back. She told me before that she was not actively looking for a BF now and she knows that I am single cos our common fren told her about it. Every now and then she would mention me in her blog and we would chat on msn till 2, 3 am. I feel like she is dropping hints to me on msn and showed signs of interest or rather she has a good impression of me. Once I asked her how she thinks about me and she said that I am a shy guy. Ahe also mentioned that I am a special friend to her. I see her in the lecture theatre for one of my modules but we nv spoke b4 in sch. Now comes the problem: 1. I am not sure whether she is really interested in me or does she treat all her friends the same way. Cos from her blog, I can see that there are a couple of close male friends in her life. 2. I am not sure whether I can juggle my sch work and r/s with her if I really get tgt with her. 3. I am really a shy guy like she said and when it comes to matters of the heart I dunno what to do. I nv had any female friends, not in contact with any over sms or msn.. not even sec sch frens. So i feel i am inexperience and I got no idea whether I really like her. I dunno whats the feeling of love. But everytime i would yearn to see her online and talk to her. I do not understand myself and dunno if I really love her. How can i find the answer. I feel quite troubled over this. What should I do now? My friends told me to talk to her more face to face and also ask her out.
Hi protillium,
There are a few reasons why a girl will talk to you over MSN. Maybe she's bored or maybe she just need to talk to someone.
For your case, you need to ask yourself whether you have the time to juggle between work and her, if no then no reasons for you to be so troubled over this, right?
I am assuming that yes, you have the time for this. So, I hope I can help you solve your problems. You did said that you are very inexperienced in this and do not really talk or interact with girls before in the past. May I also know how old are you now? There's no harm in being friends with this girl as it will help you to gain more experience. However, from what you said, nobody can confirm that this girl is interested in you.
If it's me, I will try to date her at least twice and if she rejects me twice, I will probably stop doing so. This is because it's quite clear that you tried dating her and she can't be so ignorant and don't know that you are interested in her. If she is genuinely busy, then she can propose another day to meet with you. If not, then I don't think she is interested.
I also don't think that you can "love" her as both of you have been mostly talking on cyberspace and people do behave differently in real life. Thus, I suggest you do not take the chats online too seriously.
I will advise you to meet more girls in real life and try making more friends first because you need all the experiences in communicating with girls and understanding them better. After doing that, you will probably face less obstacles next time if you meet someone you like.
As for this girl, continue to be friends with her and see how it goes but please do not put in anymore feelings for her, just treat her as a friend. In the meantime, meet for girls and widen your social circle and who knows you will realise that you do not really love this girl afterall.
A Luv Guru
-
"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
... ;
25 Oct 07, 23:59pc: I have briefly known of some males friends who were very friendly to me but in actual fact, they were not interested in me in the boy-girl relationship. I am certain of this but why are they giving contradictory signals? Fortuntaely, I have been alert enough to detect that they were not attempting to develop the friendship further to the level of boy-girl relationship.
Hi pc,
Don't you agree that human beings are just so strange? Sometimes people's behaviour is contradictory to what they are thinking.
There are many such cases where behave this way;
1) They do not know what they want so they play along with whoever comes along and see what happens.
2) They know that you are interested in them so they try to show some interest so that you will be ultra nice to them. Everyone likes people being nice to them right?
3) They are naturally friendly and nice to everyone (even the uncle selling chicken rice) so it might misled you into thinking that they gave you wrong signals.
Thank goodness you are alert enough. Some people can just fall into such fallacies that they can get hurt easily. Constantly be aware and unless the guy confirm anything, do not put in your heart and soul into any relationships. Of course, it's easier said than done.
:)
A Luv Guru
-
"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
... ;
Candyx3o: My bf & I are in different schools. We are only able to meet up once a week or so. He's studying in a co-ed school whereas I'm in an all-girls school. I somehow tend to be jealous & concerned about the girls he mix with. Is this kind of feeling normal? Is it also normal to be jealous of the girls he once used to be with? I don't know who they are & whether my bf & these girls are still in contact. I would not want to ask him, because it would seem as if I do not trust him. Is there any way to not worry about such things? It's not that I do not trust him but I just have that feeling of jealousy in me. Is there any way to overcome it? Please advice. Thanks.
Hi Candyx3o,
It's normal for everyone to feel jealous over their bf or gf. It only goes to show that you love him very much. If you are not jealous, then something is wrong.
However, your bf studying in a co-ed school is not his fault. Most of us studied in a co-ed school also. I think you did the right thing by not asking him so much about his activities with his other female school mates. It will only shows that you do not trust him and do not have confidence in yourself.
Try to think of it positively and see whether it helps to overcome your jealousy;
1) We cannot stop anyone from having interactions with the opposite sex, even for yourself.
2) If after all these interactions with other girls and he still love you, it goes to show he is a faithful guy and that you are a much better choice than other girls.
3) If he is the unfaithful sort, it might not be a bad thing for him to expose his true self early so you can minimise the hurt you will have.
4) By being "not so jealous", it goes to show that you have strong personality and guys like girls who do no get jealous so easily. Guys are often very pissed off by girls who are jealous over trivial matters. That will put you at a less advantaged position.
5) Since you can't stop him from interacting with other girls (nobody can stop this), why should you get jealous and sad over this? It will only be harmful for your own sake, be it physically or emotionally. Try to stay happy and relax over this and it might do you more good.
If there's anything that he did that shows that you can trust him or vice versa, let me know and I can give you advice on whether he can be trusted or not.
Hope I have given you some insights.
A Luv Guru
-
"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
... ;
JADEN: why do i my **** reacted when i had close contact with my gf and even holding hands. HELP its embarass..
Hi Jaden,
I am not too sure if this is under my purview. I can more or less guess what you are trying to ask.
Firstly, a lot of young guys (not sure how young you are) will have this problem but it's certainly not a serious problem. I would rather you have a reaction than not having one. Some guys are even worse than you as they could have a reaction while justing merely thinking of their girlfriend or other girls. Thus, I don't see yours as a serious problem.
At the initial stage, you will feel excited going out on dates and having close contacts with your gf, especially if this is your first experience. Trust me, after some time, this feeling will not be as strong. I mean, if you have your favourite food for a month, I am sure you will not as excited as when you first eat it.
At this point, you might want to try to focus on other things while on a date with your gf. For instance, the conversation and interactions both of you have. Try not to think of her figure (though it might not be easy) and anything remotely linked to sex!
Another way is to wear something that is slightly tighter and gives you a better hold just so that your reaction will not be obvious. Loose boxers is a strict NO-NO here.
Hope it helps.
A Luv Guru
-
"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
... ;
Yara: thanx alot , actually I tried to give it try but it seems it doesn't work I don't know why but as I mentioned once he's so shy , so maybe he doen't know what to do or maybe I didn't come on his mind!
Hi Yara,
May I know what have you tried and what is his reaction? Since he is so shy, you might need to take a longer time to make him realise that you are interested in him.
But you probably wants to give it a thought whether you are ok with a shy guy like him. This is because he might be shy and passive in nature and you will have to take a lot of initiatives on this relationship. I know most girls might not like to be too "active". But if you are ok, it might pay to put in a bit more time to "move" him.
All the best.
A Luv Guru.
-
"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
... ;
jj aka gigabyte14: i bery shy when talking to ANY girl, how ah?
Hi jj,
A lot of people faces the same problem as you. However, different people have different reasons why they are shy. I need to know more about you before I can help.
1) How old are you and when did you realise that you are shy?
2) Are there any unhappy experiences that you have before that causes this shyness? Have you experienced rejections from girls before? If yes, how often?
3) Have you tried approaching any girls before? If yes, how shy are you? Blush? Stammer? Shiver? Run away? This will help me assess your level of shyness.
4) Are you an outspoken person or you are more introverted? Do you also feel shy talking to other people? Are you someone more comfortable or used to talking in the cyberspace?
Sorry for asking so many questions but I hope to be able to understand your problem better before giving any advice.
A Luv Guru
-
"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
... ;
here is her story _^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^^_^_^_^_I met a guy in university , he doesn't know me ....and I don't know him very much , unless that I have few informations about him ...but I don't know him in person ....I noticed him since last two semesters cause he is so kind , calm and cute .... he is taking advance courses ...and I'm still in my third semester in the college ..at the same department ....I guess that I like him ...and I feel so happy when I see him ..I wish if I can talk to him ....but I can't ...or I don't know how or what should I say !!!!some of my friends told me to take the chance and talk to him ...either I will feel regret if I missed this chance ....to be honest , I want to ...but I don't know what I have to say ...or how can I start a conversation !!!I'm so confused ...as I mentioned he is so close to graduate ...so I can't see him after that anymore ....!!!!please I need help !!!I decided to talk to him this week , but I have no idea about what should I say ..should l say 'hi' but saying hi from unknown person is really strange !!!!!I know his lessons time , I thought it would be better to fabricate a chance to talk to him ...but the problem is WHAT I HAVE TO SAY !!!!!please help ...as soon as possible !!!! and I will be really thankful ....._^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_
now I passed this stage ...and I had a progress , a good one ..I think I started to talk to him , not that much ..only for few minutes , but at least I know his name he knows mine ..and we can say hi with smiles in every time we meet the problem now ....that he is going to graduate this semeater -as he told me- that means I have only 2 or 3 months maximum then he will travel to Canada to continue his study !!!I like him , I like this guy so much ...but I don't know if he feels the same !!!my friend told me , with the end of this semester ask him about his phone number or E-mail address so we can stay in touch !!!I will do this , but I'm afriad that he will reject ...cause we couldn't know each other only for few months . so asking for his phone number or E-mail address it would be alittle bit strange !!!!at the same time ...I'm saying to myslef that he is so nice so he will not reject ..caus he is treating me nice !!!So , now my problem that I don't know how can I let him know that I'm interested in him ...and I do care about him so much ....and I don't know how can I make him feel the same next few months that I only have any suggestion !!!! and I will be sooooooo thankful
My reply;
Hi Yara,
I guessed most of us experienced this phase of our life before when we have our puppy love infatuation over a school mate or friend. It is only natural for you to feel this way and also not sure of what to do. Most people will not dare to approach the person they like just like that as they will be nervous or freak out in front of them.
However, I will advise you to give it a try. You do not need to tell him straight that you like him. Can just start off as friends first and see how it goes. Who knows you might not like him after knowing him better or may find him unsuitable? It's really ok to ask someone for his number and ask him out. Come on, we are in 21st century!
But, for your own sake, do not put in too much hopes yet as it might not turn out well. To prevent any heart break, just take it easy and see how it goes.
I will be glad to advice if you start going out with him and not sure if his actions are positive or not.
All the best to your sweet sweet puppy love.
:)
A Luv Guru
-
"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
... ;
I was inspired to set up this blog by some friends, after successfully given them advices and helping them "see the light". I was always approached by friends when they are troubled or lost in love. Not sure why they chose me but I was really glad that they find it at ease to confide in me.
I hope that this blog will be a platform to provide emotional support to others who are not so "smooth-sailing" in their love lives. Also, other visitors to this website can also share their stories to inspire others. You can share your story in your comments and I will post and share with others.
So, if you are facing some problems at this point of time, do try to let me know via my tag box or under comments, I will reply you in my next post. It would be good for you to use a nick or name for easy reference. You do not have to use your real name if you do not wish to.
So, where's my first question?
:)
-
"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love"
... ;
